dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
