I'm going to jail i love you
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say đ
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled âfive times and I still havenât gotten offâ when he was still inside me ..
Said âdonât worry Iâll get myself off tomorrowâ to top it all off
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