No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
