Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
