Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
