spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
