I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
