My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
