I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
