I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
