so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
