just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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