Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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