this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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