I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
