So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize