so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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