PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
