I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
