it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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