Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
