I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
