People in love make me want to vomit
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
