508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
