I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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