At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
