Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
