I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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