Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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