if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
