Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize