Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
