3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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