i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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