you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
