I feel like abortions should bother me more
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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