i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
