halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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