He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
