Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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