Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Panties = found
Randomize
