I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
whose parrot is this?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
