i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
