We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
