No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize