omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
All the doctor said was why
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
