when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
