my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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