Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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