just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You pole danced in your parka.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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