I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
