k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
