so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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