I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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