Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
