just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
COCAINE IS GR8
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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