At least make sure they are 18
Why
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
