Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
