Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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