He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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