Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
