i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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