is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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