when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
