At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
false alarm, still single
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
